fadingflowerx

Treading water. Trying to hold my head above the relentless waves. I sink, my foot brushes against the mysterious sea bed. The sky above me is a beautiful blur. Everything becomes painful. Panic manifests throughout me. The effort to pull my head above water nearly kills me. I lose focus for a short moment. A dark mystical creature from beneath me slithers past. I feel a hand grip firmly around my ankle. Pulling me down. Further. Deeper. Darker. I have no choice. I fight. And I fight hard. Exhausted from the ordeal. With every ounce of energy in my body. I push through the water. I feel fresh air between my

Have you ever stopped to realise, The one thing you thought was saving you, Is actually tearing you apart.

It's 3AM. The Devil and his friends have come to play. Company for the early hours of the morning. Wrapping me up. Suffocating me. Overwhelming. Sending feelings through me that contaminate my thoughts. Like poison running through my veins. A struggle for breath is a strike at the Devil. A shudder of fear evoke the thought of death. Tearing at my hair. My mind screaming for release. Begging for escape from the Devils wrath. That has encompassed me, so rapidly and wholly. He plays with my mind. Twists my thoughts. Knotting them like rope. A mass of confusion. Only one thing being clear. Longing for the strength. The courage.

Sitting on the brink of tears, The waves come crashing in, Choking on the frightening fear, Lurking deep within, Looking down two roads, No idea where to turn, Feeling a sense of dejavu, But yet I have to learn, Crushed by confusion, Pulled down by doubt, Negativity overwhelms me, Tells me there's no way out, Grasping for the edge, Of a dark and lonely hole, This monster here with me, Is slowly destroying my soul, Growing tired of the mind games, The endless sleepless nights Wanting to break it's power, But feeling too weak to fight, Despite the evil monster, Making life a living hell, I'm convinced it's my friend, Wrap

Depression. It isn't something that ever leaves. It's always lingering. You can tidy it away as best as possible. But it's always there. Waiting in the corner. Creeping. Ready to attack. Ready to pounce at any time. You can never be free of it. Never totally free. A dark cloud overhead. A Black Dog in the bushes. I don't want to fight the dark clouds. Or the Black Dog. Not again. I can't. But I already am. I know there is something wrong. Something isn't sitting correctly. I can't control it. I don't know where I'm heading. Where I may end up. How long it'll take to get there. What I'll experience on the way. How long

Physical touch is a wonderful thing. More of the brain is dedicated to touch than any other sense. Touch heals, it comforts. Skin to skin contact between a mother and her infant benefits the baby's physical development and helps to create and strengthen a positive attachment relationship. The gentle touch of another has been shown to increase physical and psychological functioning, reducing stress, relieving pain and producing a higher belief in coping ability. The cold gloveless hand of a younger cousin, reaching out for warmth in a cruel winter. The tight embrace of someone you love, reaching out to show affection in times of need. A

Oh, hello Paranoia. How kind of you to grace me with your presence, it's been a while right? Thanks for coming along right now, perfect timing, just what I need at this exact moment in time. More work for my already exhausted mind. I guess we're going to play games like "over-think everything" driving me to the point of insanity, where I physically want to scream. Thinking over and over and over again. Analysing situations, what did happen, what didn't happen, what could have happened. Even days after the actual event until I've gone over it so many times it doesn't even seem real anymore. Another one of your favourites "everyone hates me".

I lie awake on a dark night, Begging to fall asleep, But the morning light comes to soon, And brings with it very little relief. Another hard day to get through, Another taxing day to survive, Can I find the strength, To make it out alive? I search frantically for an open door, But all of them are closed, I'm seeking a way out, A clear direction in which to go, I'm endlessly wishing for something, To save me from this pain, Anyone, anything, To take me far away, This feeling confines me. Traps me and pulls me down, Wraps me tightly in chains, Casts my pride to the ground, Dragged under by the pain, Yet still feeling so nu